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Bierce, Ambrose

"Can Such Things Be"

'
Jo.'s gladness, which somehow did not impress
me, was duly and ostentatiously celebrated at the
bottle.
'About five years ago I started in to stick up a
shack. That was before this one was built, and I put
it in another place. I set Ah Wee and a little cuss
named Gopher to cutting the timber. Of course I
didn't expect Ah Wee to help much, for he had a face
like a day in June and big black eyes--I guess
maybe they were the damn'dest eyes in this neck o'
woods.'
While delivering this trenchant thrust at common
sense Mr. Dunfer absently regarded a knot-hole in
the thin board partition separating the bar from the
living-room, as if that were one of the eyes whose size
and colour had incapacitated his servant for good
service.
'Now you Eastern galoots won't believe anything
against the yellow devils,' he suddenly flamed out
with an appearance of earnestness not altogether
convincing,' but I tell you that Chink was the per-
versest scoundrel outside San Francisco. The miser-
able pig-tail Mongolian went to hewing away at the
saplings all round the stems, like a worm o' the dust
gnawing a radish. I pointed out his error as pa-
tiently as I knew how, and showed him how to cut
them on two sides, so as to make them fall right;
but no sooner would I turn my back on him, like
this'--and he turned it on me, amplifying the il-
lustration by taking some more liquor--'than he
was at it again.


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