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Bierce, Ambrose

"Can Such Things Be"

'
'But did Jo. do that because the Chinaman did
not, or would not, learn to cut down trees like a
white man ? '
'Sure!--it stan's so on the record, which makes
it true an' legal. My knowin' better doesn't make
any difference with legal truth; it wasn't my funeral
and I wasn't invited to deliver an oration. But the
fact is, W'isky was jealous o' me'--and the little
wretch actually swelled out like a turkeycock and
made a pretence of adjusting an imaginary neck-tie,
noting the effect in the palm of his hand, held up
before him to represent a mirror.
'Jealous of you!' I repeated with ill-mannered
astonishment.
'That's what I said. Why not?--don't I look all
right?'
He assumed a mocking attitude of studied grace,
and twitched the wrinkles out of his threadbare
waistcoat. Then, suddenly dropping his voice to a
low pitch of singular sweetness, he continued:
'W'isky thought a lot o' that Chink; nobody but
me knew how 'e doted on 'im. Couldn't bear 'im
out of 'is sight, the derned protoplasm! And w'en
'e came down to this clearin' one day an' found
'im an' me neglectin' our work--'im asleep an' me
grapplin' a tarantula out of 'is sleeve--W'isky laid
hold of my axe and let us have it, good an' hard!
I dodged just then, for the spider bit me, but Ah
Wee got it bad in the side an' tumbled about like
anything. W'isky was just weighin' me out one
w'en 'e saw the spider fastened on my finger; then
'e knew 'e'd make a jackass of 'imself.


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