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Bierce, Ambrose

"Can Such Things Be"

At length
he looked the man in the face, smiled, and said:
'Lieutenant, you are not wearing the uniform of
your rank and service.'
At this the man glanced down at his civilian attire,
lifted his eyes, and said with hesitation:
'That is true. I--I don't quite understand.'
Still regarding him sharply but not unsympatheti-
cally, the man of science bluntly inquired:
'How old are you?'
'Twenty-three--if that has anything to do
with it.'
'You don't look it; I should hardly have guessed
you to be just that.'
The man was growing impatient. 'We need not
discuss that,' he said: 'I want to know about the
army. Not two hours ago I saw a column of troops
moving northward on this road. You must have met
them. Be good enough to tell me the colour of their
clothing, which I was unable to make out, and I'll
trouble you no more.'
'You are quite sure that you saw them?'
'Sure? My God, sir, I could have counted them!'
'Why, really,' said the physician, with an amusing
consciousness of his own resemblance to the loqua-
cious barber of the Arabian Nights, 'this is very in-
teresting. I met no troops.'
The man looked at him coldly, as if he had himself
observed the likeness to the barber. 'It is plain,' he
said, 'that you do not care to assist me. Sir, you
may go to the devil!'
He turned and strode away, very much at ran-
dom, across the dewy fields, his half-penitent tor-
mentor quietly watching him from his point of van-
tage in the saddle till he disappeared beyond an
array of trees.


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