I
had learned her name--which it is needless to
speak--and something of her family. She was an
orphan, a dependent niece of the impossible elderly
fat woman in whose lodging-house she lived. My in-
come was small and I lacked the talent for marry-
ing; it is perhaps a gift. An alliance with that fam-
ily would condemn me to its manner of life, part
me from my books and studies, and in a social sense
reduce me to the ranks. It is easy to deprecate such
considerations as these and I have not retained my-
self for the defence. Let judgment be entered against
me, but in strict justice all my ancestors for genera-
tions should be made co-defendants and I be per-
mitted to plead in mitigation of punishment the
imperious mandate of heredity. To a mesalliance of
that kind every globule of my ancestral blood spoke
in opposition. In brief, my tastes, habits, instinct,
with whatever of reason my love had left me--all
fought against it. Moreover, I was an irreclaimable
sentimentalist, and found a subtle charm in an im-
personal and spiritual relation which acquaintance
might vulgarize and marriage would certainly dis-
pel. No woman, I argued, is what this lovely creature
seems. Love is a delicious dream; why should I
bring about my own awakening?
'The course dictated by all this sense and senti-
ment was obvious. Honour, pride, prudence, preser-
vation of my ideals--all commanded me to go
away, but for that I was too weak.
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