" She had often
thought of herself and Evelyn in heaven, walking hand in hand. Once
they had sat enfolded in each other's arms under a flowering
oleander. Christ was watching them! And all this could only point to
one thing, that her love of Evelyn was infringing upon her love of
God. And Evelyn, too, had questioned her love of God as if she were
jealous of it, but she had answered Evelyn that nuns were the brides
of Christ, and must set no measure on their love of God. "There is no
lover," she had said, "like God; He is always by you, you can turn to
Him at any moment. God wishes us to keep all our love for Him." She
had said these things, but how differently she had acted, forgetful
of God, thinking only of Evelyn, and her vows, and not a little of
the woman herself.
The revelation was very sudden.... Sister Mary John seemed to find
somebody in herself of whom she knew nothing, and a passion in
herself unknown to her before. Therefore, to the Prioress she went at
once to tell her everything.
"Mother, I have come to ask you if you will transfer me to the Mother
House in France."
The Reverend Mother repeated the words in astonishment, and listened
to Sister Mary John, who was telling her that she had found herself
in sin.
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