Even _that_--the one thing, the one moment--really wasn't life.
But it was all she had! If she let herself think of how little that all
was--it was an emptiness she was afraid of.
The people who had tried to comfort her used to talk of how much she had
had. She would wonder sometimes why they were talking on her side
instead of their own. For if you have had much--does that make it easy
to get along with nothing? Why couldn't they _see_ it? That because of
what Howie had been to her--and for ten years!--she just didn't know any
way of going on living without Howie!
Tonight made fresh all her wedding anniversaries--brought happiness to
life again. It almost took her in. And because she had been so near the
dear, warm things in which she had lived, when morning came she couldn't
get on the train that would take her back to that house to which Howie
would never come again. Once more it all seemed slipping from her. There
must be _something_. As a frightened child runs for home, she turned to
that place where--for at least a moment--it was as if Howie were there.
She went to the telegraph office and wired the company that sent out
"The Cross of Diamonds," asking where that film could be seen. She had
learned that this was the way to do it. She had known nothing about such
things at first; it had been hard to find out the ways of doing.
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