But, in or out of bed, what could he do? Utterly
helpless, he thought, but in truth not daring to look the question as to
what he could do in the face, he crept back ignominiously into his bed;
and, growing a little less uncomfortable, began to reason with himself that
things were not so bad as they had for that moment seemed; that many
another had failed in like fashion with him, but his fault had been
forgotten, and had never reappeared against him! No culprit was ever
required to bear witness against himself! He must learn to discipline and
repress his over-sensitiveness, otherwise it would one day seize him at a
disadvantage, and betray him into self-exposure!
Thus he reasoned--and sank back once more among the all but dead; the loud
alarum of his rousing conscience ceased, and he fell asleep in the resolve
to get away from Deemouth the first thing in the morning, before Mr.
Robertson should be awake. How much better it had been for him to hold fast
his repentant mood, and awake to tell everything! but he was very far from
having even approached any such resolution.
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