I knew there must be sickness, sin, and sorrow
in it; but could not I do some little to help them, with my free hands
and the health and strength which were almost always mine? Very good I
was not myself, but I had been watchfully brought up in an innocent
home; there was no crime upon my conscience, and, even as I cast a
rueful glance upon its blemishes, I heard a well-remembered voice say
from a grave once more: "Have patience with my little daughter. Some of
the richest fruits and souls are not the first to ripen. The chief thing
that she wants is time to mellow."
And one of the brightest points in all the bright side was, that, in
living so constantly through her illness with Fanny, who lived with God,
I had been perforce brought nearer to Him, and therefore naturally
learned to dread Him less and love Him more than I had done; so that I
hoped, as I know my mother did, that the sunshine of His grace would
help to mellow me.
Another bright point was, that I need not go back to Greenville. The
present mistress was glad to keep the school, and the committee willing
to keep her.
My desultory thoughts still growing calmer, I began to form plans for my
way of living, as I used to do aloud, when I could talk them over with
my mother and Fanny.
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