I was led to doubt
you by people who were unworthy of you and of me. My portrait has long
ago been intended for you. You know that I had always intended it for
some one. To whom could I give it so with warmest love as to you, true,
faithful, noble Stephen. Forgive me for causing you suffering. My own
sufferings have equaled yours. It was not until after our separation
that I realized how dear you are and always will be to my heart."
All this in English sounds cold and stunted when compared with the fire
of the original. Beethoven never spared himself when making amends for
past misconduct.
From this time on the name of Von Breuning appears again in his letters
and he found much comfort in intercourse with his family. He was always
a welcome guest at Breuning's house. A friendship was soon inaugurated
between the master and Stephen's son, a bright lad of twelve years. He
nicknamed him Ariel, when sending him on errands, probably with
reference to his agility.
Such incidents as the quarrels with Breuning, his dismissal of
Schindler, Schuppanzich, and Count Lichnowsky during the preliminary
work of the testimonial concert, his suspicions of his friends at the
second concert when he invited them to a dinner, and then charged them
with an attempt to defraud him,--these at first glance, especially if
considered apart, lead to the conclusion that Beethoven was not intended
for friendship.
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