And who could blame me for seeking
to render myself independent of her control, or for becoming weary
of the tyrannical guidance of one who had taken it into her head
that I had become her sole property, and who, in pursuance of
this idea, bored and tormented me to death with her follies and
exactions, and even took upon herself to be out of humor at the
least indication of my attaching myself to any other lady of the
court. According to her view of things, gratitude imposed on me
the rigorous law of forming an intimacy with her alone; in a word,
she exercised over me the most galling dominion, which my family
had long counselled me to shake off; in truth, I was perfectly
tired of bearing the yoke her capricious and overbearing temper
imposed upon me, but I determined, if possible, to do nothing
hastily, and to endure it with patience as long as I could. But
now that the number of my female friends was augmented by the
addition of the marquise de Montmorency and the comtesse de
l'Hopital I determined no longer to bear the constant display of
madame de Bearn's despotic sway, and finding no chance of accommodating
our tastes and humors, I resolved to free myself from her thraldom.
Another powerful reason for this measure was the dislike with
which the king regarded her; not that she was deficient in birth or
good breeding, but amidst the polish of high life she occasionally
introduced the most vulgar and provincial manners, a fault of all
others most offensive to the king, whose disgust was further
excited by the undisguised avidity with which, at every opportunity,
she sought to turn her admission to the king's private society to
account, by preferring some request or soliciting some particular
favor.
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