I had,
by this rule of conduct, so diffused my interest, that I had a fourth
part of fifteen tickets, an eighth of forty, and a sixteenth of ninety.
I waited for the decision of my fate with my former palpitations, and
looked upon the business of my trade with the usual neglect. The wheel
at last was turned, and its revolutions brought me a long succession of
sorrows and disappointments. I indeed often partook of a small prize,
and the loss of one day was generally balanced by the gain of the next;
but my desires yet remained unsatisfied, and when one of my chances had
failed, all my expectation was suspended on those which remained yet
undetermined. At last a prize of five thousand pounds was proclaimed; I
caught fire at the cry, and inquiring the number, found it to be one of
my own tickets, which I had divided among those on whose luck I
depended, and of which I had retained only a sixteenth part.
You will easily judge with what detestation of himself, a man thus
intent upon gain reflected that he had sold a prize which was once in
his possession. It was to no purpose, that I represented to my mind the
impossibility of recalling the past, or the folly of condemning an act,
which only its event, an event which no human intelligence could
foresee, proved to be wrong.
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