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Johnson, Samuel, 1709-1784

"The Rambler, Volume II"


As I grew fitter to be trusted to my own discretion, I was often
despatched upon various pretences to visit my relations, with directions
from my parents how to ingratiate myself, and drive away competitors.
I was, from my infancy, considered by the sailor as a promising genius,
because I liked punch better than wine; and I took care to improve this
prepossession by continual inquiries about the art of navigation, the
degree of heat and cold in different climates, the profits of trade, and
the dangers of shipwreck. I admired the courage of the seamen, and
gained his heart by importuning him for a recital of his adventures, and
a sight of his foreign curiosities. I listened with an appearance of
close attention to stories which I could already repeat, and at the
close never failed to express my resolution to visit distant countries,
and my contempt of the cowards and drones that spend all their lives in
their native parish; though I had in reality no desire of any thing but
money, nor ever felt the stimulations of curiosity or ardour of
adventure, but would contentedly have passed the years of Nestor in
receiving rents, and lending upon mortgages.
The squire I was able to please with less hypocrisy, for I really
thought it pleasant enough to kill the game and eat it.


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