But he felt that a life in this world, apart from them,
would be worse than death.
"I am mocked! I am cursed!" he exclaimed, bitterly.
The tempter was stealthily doing his work.
"Oh! what a vain struggle is this life! What a fitful fever! Would
that it were over, and I at rest!"
The tempter was leading his thoughts at will.
"How can I meet my wronged family? How can I look my friends in the
face? I shall be to the world only a thing of pity or reproach. Can
I bear this? No--no--I cannot--I cannot!"
Magnified by the tempter, the consequence looked appalling. He felt
that he had not strength to meet it--that all of manhood would be
crushed out of him.
"What then?" He spoke the words almost aloud, and held his breath,
as if for answer.
"A moment, and all will be over!"
It was the voice of the tempter.
Markland buried his face in his hands, and sat for a long time as
motionless as if sleep had obscured his senses; and all that time a
fearful debate was going on in his mind. At last he rose up, changed
in feeling as well as in aspect.
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