SCENE--_A Table d'hote._
_Aristocratic English Lady_ (_full of diplomatic relations_). "A--CAN
YOU TELL ME IF THERE IS A RESIDENT BRITISH MINISTER HERE?"
_Scotch Tourist_. "WELL, I'M NOT JUST QUITE SURE--BUT I'M TOLD THERE'S
AN EXCELLENT PRESBYTERIAN SERVICE EVERY SUNDAY!"]
* * * * *
A FAMILY QUESTION.
A SONG FOR THE SITUATION.
AIR--"_THE CHESAPEAKE AND THE SHANNON_."
MCKINLEY, brave and bold, as the universe is told,
Brought forth his Tariff Bill so neat and handy, O!
And true patriots, everyone thought the business splendid fun,
With their music playing Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
Yankee-doodle, Yankee-doodle dandy. O!
The patriots came running, and admired MCKINLEY's cunning,
In the interests of Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
The Britisher might blame the new Economic game,
_That_ only fired the Yankee like neat brandy, O!
If J.B. should be stone-broke by MCKINLEY's master-stroke,
_Tant mieux_, my boys, for Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
Yankee-doodle, Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
The measure is a lark, it _may_ transfer the British market
To the able hands of Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
The fight has scarce begun, and the Yank has seen the fun
Of the rush of freighted vessels to be handy, O!
Just in time for the old duties; they competed, like young beauties
For the smile of some young roving Royal dandy, O!
Yankee-doodle, Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
They knew there'd be a scare if the ships didn't dodge the Tariff,
The New Tariff dear to Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
The _Etruria_ and _Zaandam_ found the business quite a flam,
The _Thingvalla_, in good time, was not quite handy, O!
Whilst some sugar-laden ships found they'd wholly missed their tips,
To the merriment of Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
Yankee-doodle, Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
Yet the prudent thoughts are giving to the "increased cost of living,"
Home-expenses burden Yankee-doodle dandy, O!
Miss COLUMBIA and her "Ma" have a fancy that Pap-pa,
At raising "worsted-stuffs" has been too handy, O!
Fifty per cent.
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