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Jonson, Ben, 1573-1637

"Cynthia's Revels"


ASO. Why, so I told you, sir, I knew it.
AMO. Told me! It is a strange outrecuidance, your humour too much
redoundeth.
ASO. Why, sir, what, do you think you know more?
AMO. I know that a cook may as soon and properly be said to smell
well, as you to be wise. I know these are most clear and clean
strokes. But then, you have your passages and imbrocatas in
courtship; as the bitter bob in wit; the reverse in face or
wry-mouth; and these more subtile and secure offenders. I will
example unto you: Your opponent makes entry as you are engaged
with your mistress. You seeing him, close in her ear with this
whisper, "Here comes your baboon, disgrace him"; and withal
stepping off, fall on his bosom, and turning to her, politely,
aloud say, Lady, regard this noble gentleman, a man rarely parted,
second to none in this court; and then, stooping over his shoulder,
your hand on his breast, your mouth on his backside, you give him
the reverse stroke, with this sanna, or stork's-bill, which makes
up your wit's bob most bitter.
ASO. Nay, for heaven's sake, teach me no more. I know all as well
-- 'Slid, if I did not, why was I nominated? why did you choose me?
why did the ladies prick out me? I am sure there were other
gallants.


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