She sought further into things than
other girls in her position ever did, and her mother groaned as she felt
she could not aid in the search.
The sailor, drowned or no, was probably now lost to them; and Susan's
staunch, religious adherence to him as her husband in principle, till
her views had been disturbed by enlightenment, was demanded no more. She
asked herself whether the present moment, now that she was a free woman
again, were not as opportune a one as she would find in a world where
everything had been so inopportune, for making a desperate effort to
advance Elizabeth. To pocket her pride and search for the first husband
seemed, wisely or not, the best initiatory step. He had possibly drunk
himself into his tomb. But he might, on the other hand, have had too
much sense to do so; for in her time with him he had been given to bouts
only, and was not a habitual drunkard.
At any rate, the propriety of returning to him, if he lived, was
unquestionable. The awkwardness of searching for him lay in enlightening
Elizabeth, a proceeding which her mother could not endure to
contemplate. She finally resolved to undertake the search without
confiding to the girl her former relations with Henchard, leaving it to
him if they found him to take what steps he might choose to that
end. This will account for their conversation at the fair and the
half-informed state at which Elizabeth was led onward.
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