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Various

"The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction Volume 13, No. 375, June 13, 1829"


When her sire introduced our Apollo, he found
The maiden in torrents of sympathy drowned--
"Floods of tears" is too trite and too common:
Her eyes were quite swelled--her lips pouting and pale;
For she just had been reading that heartbreaking tale,
"Annabelle, or the Sufferings of Woman."
Apollo, I'll swear, had more courage than I,
To accost a young maid with a _drop in her eye_;
I'd as soon catch a snake or a viper:
She, while wiping her tears, gives Apollo some wipes;
And when a young lady has set up her pipes,
Her lover will soon pay the piper.
Papa locked her up--but the very next night,
With a cornet of horse, the young lady took flight;
To Apollo she left this apology--
"That, were she to spend with an old man her life,
She would gain, by the penance she'd bear as a wife,
A place in the next martyrology."
Apollo gave chase, but was destined to fail;
The female had safely been lodged in the mail,
Now flying full speed to the borders;
So the doctor, compelled his sad fate to endure,
Came back to his shop, commissioned to cure
All disorders but Cupid's disorders.


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