When He giveth quietness,
what should make trouble? 'Tis wonderful to think
what long-suffering kindness the Lord has shown
me! I can compare myself only to the prodigal
son saying, "Give me my portion of goods"--goods
spiritual; as if I thought once furnished, never
again to have recourse to a father's compassion. Oh,
often have I wasted this substance in a very short
time; but the Lord has reckoned better than I
in my self-confidence. He saw how I should have to
come back utterly destitute, and again and again has
had mercy. Oh that I might no more ask for a portion
to carry away, but seek to dwell among the servants
and the children of His house, to be fed
hourly by Him, learning in what sense He does say
to those who are willing to have nothing of their
own, "All that I have is thine."
_12th Mo. 6th_. Nice journey to Falmouth. Here
we have been since Second-day learning our own
manifold deficiencies; but this, under a genial atmosphere,
is, to me, never disheartening,--always an
exciting, encouraging lesson. ----'s kind words
on intellectual presence of mind, and his animating
example of it, have determined me to make a vigorous
effort over my own sloth and inanity. I believe
the first thing is to be always conscious of what I am
thinking of, and never to let my mind run at loose
ends in senseless reveries.
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