The operation
will be performed as kindly as circumstances permit. It is hardly
necessary to add that _Mr. Punch_ will _give his own prize in his own
way, and at his own time_, to the author he may deem the best. And
herewith _Mr. Punch_ gives a specimen of--
NO. I.--ONE MAN IN A COAT.
(_BY_ ARRY O.K. ARRY, _AUTHOR OF "STIGE FICES," "CHEAP WORDS OF A
CHIPPY CHAPPIE," ETSETTERER._)
[PREFATORY NOTE.--This Novel was carefully wrapped up in
some odd leaves of MARK TWAIN'S _Innocents Abroad_, and was
accompanied by a letter in which the author declared that
the book was worth L3000, but that "to save any more blooming
trouble," he would be willing to take the prize of L1000 by
return of post, and say no more about it.--ED.]
CHAPTER I.
It was all the Slavey what got us into the mess. Have you ever noticed
what a way a Slavey has of snuffling and saying, "Lor, Sir, oo'd 'a
thought it?" on the slightest provocation. She comes into your room
just as you are about to fill your finest two-handed meerschaum with
Navy-cut, and looks at you with a far-away look in her eyes, and a
wisp of hair winding carelessly round the neck of her print dress. You
murmur something in an insinuating way about that box of Vestas you
bought last night from the blind man who stands outside "The Old King
of Prussia" pub round the corner.
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