My Vestry,
I am proud to say, are unanimously of opinion that, in such a case
as I have described, common sense and common justice would dictate
that, as the intentions of the pious founder cannot be applied to the
punishment of vice, it should be devoted to the reward of virtue, and
this would be best accomplished by expending the fund in question in
an annual banquet to those Vestrymen who attended the most assiduously
to the arduous duties of their important office. JOSEPH GREENHORN.
* * * * *
ANOTHER TERC-ISH ATROCITY.
(_BY A SCEPTICAL SUFFERER._)
[An Austrian physician, Dr. TERC, prescribes bee-stings as a
cure for rheumatism!]
How cloth the little Busy Bee
Insert his poisoned stings,
And kill the keen rheumatic pain
That mortal muscle wrings!
Great Scott! It sounds so like a sell!
Bee-stings for rheumatiz?
As well try wasps to make one well.
That TERC must be a quiz.
Rather would I rheumatics bear
Than try the Busy Bee.
No, Austrian TERC, your cure _may_ work!
But won't he tried on _me_!
* * * * *
[Illustration]
"IL IRA LOIN."--Great day for England in general, and for London in
particular, when AUGUSTUS GLOSSOP HARRIS,--the "Gloss-op"-portunely
appears nothing without the gloss up-on him,--popularly known by
the title of AUGUSTUS DRURIOLANUS, rode to the Embankment with
his trumpeters,--it being _infra dig.
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